Mental Health – a sad state of affairs

 

Cloaked in a black hood, I crept into the darkness searching for a spot that would allow me to drain out the valve of despair seeping the life out my soul. The orchestra of chaos bursting inside my head could no longer silenced by the semblance of normalcy my words expressed.

Until that point, my cheeks had never felt tears stream with sheer intensity. Struggling socially and academically, I had hit rock bottom 7 months into my LUMS journey.

Suddenly, I sensed movement in the corner adjacent to mine. At first, my heart pounded—have I been exposed in a state of extreme vulnerability?

However, a few moments later, a deeper concern struck me: How many other people drowned in the abyss of despair at 3am on a Tuesday?

I clearly wasn’t alone seeking refuge in the dark corners of this prestigious institution.

Adjusting to life in an alien environment can be difficult and the environment at LUMS is far from perfect. A simple visit to the page Help@LUMS will acquaint you with the quantitative severity of mental issues we as a community face.

Apart from the heightened academic competition, a simmering pressure to fit in dominates the social scene. Sitting at the Khokha or having a meal all by yourself can be intimidating. Add social anxiety to the equation and you’ll have trouble finding decent company.

When your bedroom and classroom coexist in the same vicinity, the personal gets entangled with other aspects of your life. Your academic performance might suffer, causing irrevocable damage. Substance abuse is another wormhole you might become susceptible to. This paves the way for mental instability that might linger beyond the duration of your degree.

Despite hailing to be among the most progressive institutions in Pakistan, LUMS fails to prioritize the mental health of its student body.

A mere number of two psychologists cater to the needs of thousands of students. To make matters worse, the repute of these psychologists is embroiled in controversy; several students have complained a breach of confidentiality.

The administration itself is infamous for fostering an apathetic attitude towards the students, viewing individual concerns with a glare of cynicism. This issue was particularly highlighted in the inquiry report drafted after the tragic suicide of a former student.

The report stated, “The Committee repeatedly heard from students how OSA staff, whom students approached during a crisis, treated them without the empathy that the situation called for. The Committee heard examples of students berated after the death of a parent, students being threatened with removal of financial aid, or students chastised for their physical appearances or put down for their class background. While it was beyond the Committee’s ability to triangulate each of these claims, these accounts do fit a pattern of behavior between students and OSA staff that has long been noted by both students and faculty.”

But the aspect that pierces my heart deeply is the veil of stigma shrouding mental health as a serious issue in the minds of the collective majority. During a Psychology at LUMS event, my efforts at raising mental health awareness at the Khokha were met with chuckles of ignorance and derision.

A mountain of change stands in the way of mental health becoming a priority. However, until we begin the arduous process of incorporating long-term solutions into the administrative framework, I believe an impact can be made informally.

Amid the ensuing bleakness, I believe the onus falls on us— ones who have preserved through the turbulence of the early LUMS experience—to help the young freshman and sophomores or anyone still treading in the darkness.

Our help might not be enough or a long-term solution, but I cannot remain passive knowing my fellow colleagues wrestle the same anguish as I did.

So, I urge you to proactively try to make your colleagues feel more inclusive.

I urge you to give advice to that young, shy freshman regarding their aspirations in your society.

Help them correct their technique at the gym.

Strike up a conversation when you spot them at the Khokha.

Sit with them at PDC if they don’t mind company.

Ask them why they have trouble speaking up in class (assuming you are the TA).

 

This obviously doesn’t solve the deeper problem. In the meanwhile, this should not deplete your will to look towards a better future. You would be surprised how often the little things go a long way in making someone feel home.

Godspeed, PLUMS! A Farewell Note by the Vice President

Like you, I also feel a social pressure to write something cool, but for a moment, let’s be ourselves. Let’s bravely face our humble, real selves and leave our cool masks on the shelf. We, millennials, associate our identity with  plenty of artefacts; social media, pop culture, Netflix and the stories they tell. We know these distant, detached stories told to us; those that we can only see or hear through a device, but not touch or smell. We know less of our own selves and the immediate surroundings which can be seen, heard, touched, smelt and felt – realities that are more certain than the former. We all carry an urge to be “cosmopolitan middle class individuals through indulging in transnational consumerism of things, ideas, ideologies and cultures”. But imagine that internet or cable networks cease to exist today; then what are you? Who are we? How will we have conversations? The consequences will be horrendous: our Johnny self will become Jamshéd and will fall short of “pickup lines”.

“World will always look for unstable, impulsive, hormone-imbalanced youth to further its propaganda on one hand, and grumpy, old, arrogant lot on the other.”

Our identities depend on these distant stories so much that if they cease to exist, we would be nothing. This is our weakness. We have built the world around us, but there is nothing inside.

پڑھ پڑھ علم  ہزار کتاباں،  کدی اپنے آپ  نوں  پڑھیا  نئیں

جا جا وڑھدا اے مندر مسیتی، کدی من اپنے وچ وڑھیا نئیں

We must link the immediate with the distant. As our sense of reality is dislodged from our immediate surroundings, we are pushed to a conundrum of expectations that inculcate a façade of a “certain” future. But that “future” never happens. You’ll be asked to connect the dots, but the expectations will align them in a way that the line goes in a direction that the “expectors” wish. When we pursue life with a detached sense of reality, we deceive and lie to ourselves about the “is” through “ought”. The world disappoints us each time; and unlike our numb “reality”, these contradictions are felt bitterly through all our senses! As what is, exists independent of what we think is, and we do not run over the bus when we have our arms crossed, the bus still runs over us.

I’ve been believing in something so distant,
as  if  I  was human!

I’ve been denying this feeling of hopelessness,
in  me;  in  me!

So much in this world, ultimately, tends to move from instability to stability. Perhaps that explains our need for certainty and meaning. But to reach the highest level of certainty, we need to conjoin all our senses to know, than relying on only seeing and hearing through devices. We are only exposed to the ‘distant’; detached from the ‘immediate’. We are an unstable generation plagued with a weaker sense of certainty than our ancestors. Perhaps this is the “instability” that reflects as mental illnesses, among other reasons?

I have built this as a foundation to encourage you towards “originality”, and “being yourself” in your creative projects, which you must understand in terms of eliminating the problem I have  put  forth.  We  are  a society, a community that has a common goal: writing. All our departments work together to produce this end, learning manifold skills in the process. As I see a promising future of this newspaper, it is imperative  that we preclude this ‘millennial problem’ of detached reality, disconnected from our immediate surroundings, in our writings. Let’s link the distant to the immediate. Right now, for instance, we are students at a university. What being a “student at LUMS” means, is for us to define; not just the administration or faculty; not Google; not Instagram, not JSTOR and certainly not Netflix.

کوئ  دور  رہ  کے  قریب  ہے

کوئ قریب رہ کے بھی دور ہے

Should we be “critical”? A popular concern found in the students’ culture these days, is of “thinking out of the box”. What we don’t realise is that when we go out of the box, we jump into another box and stay there. Should we, then, keep jumping through the boxes persistently to facilitate inquiry? I never really understood that. If you wish to “deconstruct”, you find yourself in Jacques Derrida’s box—you may choose to stay there, perhaps because it’s a “French” box.  But following the earlier logic, no matter how much we jump, we are tempted to make a box around us; of certainty; of stability; and stay there even when it starts corrupting with contradictions. And do you see, we have the audacity to see this world in a “horse shoe”? If we realise our surprising abilities, no horse shoe will be able to theorise us.

If we believe that there are no absolute right or wrong – or no “box” – we will still be tempted to generalize our personal right and wrong to the world. Maintaining a façade of acceptance of others’ values counts to nothing if, by practice, we still move towards the absolute in many respects. Just because we say or believe that we are not, does not change the practical reality and its consequences. Isn’t that we are tolerant in being, tolerant in sayings, but intolerant in doings? Though we have grown apparently elastic in it, we still compete to be the demagogue.

As this society is relieved from resource dependencies, you will witness this newspaper leaning towards such direction, which will be an existential threat. I already see certain factions running after it like wild hounds. There is apparently a consensus among the academics that being completely value neutral is impossible. For a person, I find it true to a vast extent, but not for the institutions. For a newspaper that hosts a constellation of persons, using this consensus to justify propaganda is precarious; it can compromise free speech, result in compelled speech and a lack of diversity. You will see dominance of one narrative and exclusion of others. The contrarians will be discouraged to write or enter the society altogether. The newspaper will attract a label and facilitate cult formations on either sides, which is a catastrophe. We don’t want to see an “Intellectual Dark Web”, do we? Cults are, by definition, exclusive; when you make one cult, four more cults will be formed around you. Would you wish such a campus?

I declare this society open for all kinds of students—Northerners and Southerners alike, brand schoolers and non-brand schoolers alike—if they can think originally and be themselves. For how long can we hide behind an arbitrary grandiose of city, or a brand name of a social engineering factory? We are someone else too, without association to these jewels; someone more than a market niche. We must not be eager to replicate the tyranny of the world inside the campus. The world outside is, but a huge ego-sizing contest. In reality, their ego is the same; it is the gazing of the shadows that misguides them. Thus, those who are farther from the light, see  bigger shadows of their egos, and those who are closer, know their place and that of humanity very well. I encourage you to be the latter, and not the former.

The media in the world too, is accused of showing a distorted reality to facilitate narratives. They have to, but we dont. As I depart, I recommend the Editorial Board of PLUMS to maintain as much value neutrality in the editorial policies as it is possible, and to avoid implicit and explicit association with any ideology or narrative that must govern all writers. As I stated earlier, we will be tempted to turn populist, towards any side of the spectrum. But the highest level of maturity is when we strictly observe that what we are tempted to do is not always what we should do. Though it generally happens in the world outside, it is not best for us students. We are here to learn acceptance of differences, not activism and propaganda; the former is harder to learn; the latter is, or soon will be, instilled in us by the logic of the world anyway; as we let it.

Another reason why I deplore propaganda through the newspaper and its unapologetic affiliation with a narrative is to keep us students from being used. We get used by the things we don’t know how to use. We don’t control the narratives that we are a mouthpiece of, someone else does; who doesn’t love us as much as we begin to. How does religious fundamentalism use us, tapping into our beliefs, which they don’t themselves respect? How does right capitalism use us, taking advantage of our greed, avarice and vanity; feeding us theories of individual agents, then treating us as collective? And how does neo-Marxism and postmodernism use us, capitalizing on the “millennial weaknesses” these days? Karl Marx or Karl Mask? Taking a moral high-ground in the comfort of the blanket about the complicated world (immediate reality) that we never interacted with! Have we read a book called the world? What we say, remains in our throat, as we say so to be sublime characters, online or otherwise. It was all a meaningless hashtagging and posting, until they said it can change the world, and we adopted it impulsively to get meaning, stability and certainty in what we were habitual of doing meaninglessly. Can it really change the world? We were never critical of its premises, as what the world is and which direction of “change” it must follow, are not questions devoid of narratives, shortcomings and interests. The list above is not exhaustive or literal, be imaginative! We are in a world of defenseless lawyers and diseased doctors. All in all, we are not the end for them all, but a means to an end unknown to us.

Some cover their propaganda under cunning “rationality”, others facilitate demagoguery by a façade of compassion and piety. Serving humanity in saying, could be feeding our vanity in doing. They are a “public consent” away from a vulgar dictatorship that they had been hiding all along. Seemingly benign, inherently sinister!

Faking compassion for politics, rather; harms the very regime of it, by making the public skeptical of its discourse whenever it is signaled—failing to distinguish the fake from the genuine. Let the postmodernists disagree.

ہے علم جسے ہو حاجتِ  اندازِ بیان، محض رعب
پاک علم ہو گرچہ سادہ، کرے شعلہ بیان زدوکوب

Yet another choice is edginess, but that too is meaninglessly endless. You get edgy, edgier, edgiest and then what? You “walk over the edge”?

Though I am a big fan of feminists, as they say “men are trash”, I rather contend; why are they so lenient? How about the whole world is trash? Why is there a food-chain? We complain about the game theory, but why are the
resources scarce? Isn’t water running out, in our immediate reality? What will we do? If the world is this trash, does that imply we must adjust and be trashy ourselves? Or that we must manage to make it less trashy? How do we do it? Resource allocation? Modernization? Eliminating grand narratives? Revivalism? Hedonism? World abnegation? Self-purification? Which is the best answer? No one is sure. Façade of certainty! We are all internally scared and insecure; and we hide this behind the veil of vanity. Some get to shout and hurl through a pedestal; others get to sit with a European leg-cross at an NGO’s event. Their sayings are not doings, and doings are not what they speak of; their thinkings are not feelings, and feelings are not for what they think; their beings are not what they are, and what they are, they don’t want to be! They are distant, and all alike. They will bring us nothing, but make us become like them. You’ll be swimming through life somewhere, but your heart will float elsewhere; the heaviest of its pieces will be drowned, others will go here and there.

حق نوں آکھ کہ ہک کرے

ترا    ٹوٹا    پھوٹا     دل 

But the world will always look for unstable, impulsive, hormone-imbalanced youth to further its propaganda on one hand, and grumpy, old, arrogant lot on the other. We must spare ourselves from this game, at least as long as we are in the university or in the learning stage – or in a hormonal imbalance, for that matter.

Growing up is not a choice, but a necessity, for if we act like a pre-pubescent kid, the world will treat us like one; that treatment will less resemble that of our parents and more so of pedophiles. We would never know when, where and how were we ripped off.

Yet I’m militantly against pessimism, though I know that my words reek of it. But it only reeks to those who have learned to be governed by it; I have conjured all optimism in my Urdu poetry; those who cannot read it, missed out on it.

ٹھانی تھی دل میں اس نے اک آرزوۓ عروج

کہ  کردار   باکمال   ہو ،  شجاع   خوب  خوب

کروں  میں کچھ ایسا  کہ عالم حیراں   ہوجاۓ

ٹالوں  میں  وہ  بلا،   کسے  ٹالی  نہیں  کبھو

ملے  اسے    جلال  و  اضطراب  و  استطاع

مگر    بلا   نہ   آئ ،   بلا    ٹالتا    وہ   کیا

جب  کام  ہی  نہ  تھا    تو  کامیاب   کیا  ہوتا

نہ  تھا کوئ  فرعون  تو  موسیٰ وہ  کیا  ہوتا

جانا، کہ   مصیبت  بھی   ہے  اک نعمت  خدا

مانا،  کہ  اہم ہیں   یہ  فتن ، فِسق  اور زبوں

نہیں  ہے  دنیاۓ عفریت و عزازیل بلا  مقصد

دجال   نہ    فضول،   نہ   یاجوج  وَ ماجوج

The only acceptable activism is one that originates from yourself; from your immediate reality, that is: you are a student at a university—which is just one shallow instance. What concerns do you face being a student? Ask yourself! Would you not speak of non-profits shifting from social service provision to a mere donation collection; from “altruism” to “greed”? Do you see your peers implicitly excluding NOP scholars and then rant on LDF about mutual acceptance? Do you  recognize imposters amongst you, who talk of feminism, tolerance and piety, but do the opposite? But first sweap your own house, as the most immediate is, yourself. For us, it is less terrible, as this is our age of making mistakes; though it’s over for those who sit in offices. It is when you are aware of the immediate reality first, you are good to talk about the distant matters, while maintaining a link. And for that, you do not need to follow an ideology or a school of thought. No PhD knows more than you, what being a student at this university today feels like. You own this domain. You have the right and legitimacy to speak out through the platforms that PLUMS provides. Lastly, be critical, but not in the manner described earlier.

Words never erupt out of a newspaper to grab anyone’s collars. I have no right to obligate you to listen, nor have you, to constrain me to explain. As through this, I do not seek the limelight; I never wanted to be noticed. But I humbly put these words out, so the consequences that are not consistent with them, are off my shoulders. Mera Ranjhan hun Koi Hor!

If Harvard Crimson can last more than a century, this newspaper can last as long as LUMS itself, and it will (IA). With this hope, I bid farewell, both, as the Vice President of PLUMS (EC’19) and as a student at LUMS. Khuda Hafiz!

 

 

 

Sonder and Mokita: In conversation with Haider Ilahi

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge”- Stephen Hawking

There is something to be said about a person who draws knowledge from the world, the people and the events surrounding him, the good and the bad; and turning it into a symphony of words that speaks to the soul. Like a tree with its roots firmly in the ground with the world spinning quickly by, as years turning into aeons; people into a kaleidoscope of colours whirling into a spectacular illustration; time burdening it with its age-old secret and the dawning truth ageing it further every day.

There is nothing more radical than to learn, unlearn and relearn oneself from the knowledge that one is provided with and it was by chance that I stumbled upon somebody quite similar to that. From the batch of 2019, Mr Haider Ilahi tells us about what he learnt so far from his experience as a member of the LUMS community and how it shaped him as a person.

Sleepless due to reading Songs of Blood and Sword the whole night, downing a cup of coffee and making our way towards Khoka in the chilly November morning, I and my two friends went to meet Mr.Ilahi as he greeted us with a polite smile.

We started off by asking him about his routine.

Q: How do you usually spend your day?

 A: Previously, I would sleep and wake up very late. I wanted to adjust my routine since it was messing my day up. Directing my biological clock to wake up at 6 am, I started rising to a clean, empty and quiet campus giving me a clear head to think. I have my breakfast and then do my readings outside with the music always playing in the background. Then my friends begin to wake up and I start wasting time (smiles!). By the end of the day, I go to bed early usually around 10 or 11 pm and even though it’s really hard, I still try to maintain this routine.

Q: What kind of literature do you like?

A: I used to read a lot of fiction but I am lucky in the respect that I really like the courses that I take. So, primarily, having just started my senior year, this is the first semester that I am really involved with my course packs. Usually, it would be me opening my books only during a mid or a final, but now it’s constant. So, whenever I am free and have to read something, I’ll do a reading of the course that legitimately interests me like philosophy or sociology. When I do have the time, I try to find novels and books suggested by friends. But I hardly have the time right now, so it seems to be just course packs.

Q: What about your childhood book-preferences?

A: It would be novels, crime stories, and detective stories. Even now, some of the favourite books that I go back to are fiction; which I used to read when I was really young. So, uh, it wouldn’t be surprising that I go back to those Famous Five books (we all laugh) that usually send me back to my childhood. But other than that, philosophy would be my preferred genre.

Q: What made you decide upon your current major?

A: I had an understanding that I would do Political Sciences but my father wanted me to have an open mind about choosing another major if it appealed to me. He personally wanted me to take Economics but, ultimately, he left the choice on me saying that I should analyze my penchant as well as my strengths and weaknesses. When I came as a freshman, I took a month or two to contemplate and then decided on doing Pol Sci and stuck with it. Despite that, even though I am a Pol major and its requirements aren’t very stringent, I promised myself that I’ll take up courses from other disciplines as well except for SDSB, which I had to take eventually as an out-group (the word ‘unfortunately’ was left unsaid). This really broadened my perspective as a whole.

Q: Apart from studying, what hobbies do you indulge in like sports etc?

A: I used to play a lot of football before I came to LUMS. For some personal reasons, I gave that up. It was hard because at that point football was the only thing I was really passionate about. So when I gave it up, I had to sort of find a replacement for it; something to keep me active in a way. Then by the end of my sophomore year and the beginning of my junior year, I found that spark in a specific branch of academics. Met with a couple of teachers who really inspired me to align my goals and ambitions. So if I had to choose now in retrospect, I’ll always choose this over football as it is something much more fulfilling and gratifying.

Since he mentioned music previously,

Q: What about your taste in music and did it develop over time?

A: Yeah, it did develop over time. If I had to go and pick one genre, it would be Blues. I have discovered some of the most incredible blues artists from the 60s and even early 30s. Other than that, since it’s in my blood probably, I have recently started to get really deep into Sufi qawwalis since almost all qawwalis do use spiritual and Sufi takes. As my Punjabi isn’t really good, I have sort of become a student of that. So, 50% it’s qawwali and 50% it’s blues.

Q: What are your thoughts on Iqbal since you mentioned that you respect his philosophy?

A: Well, I can’t talk about Iqbal without talking about society because even my own opinion is formed partly due to society. So when I was growing up, I understood Iqbal as how he was taught: “Qoumi Shayar hain” and “Unko Pakistan ka khwaab aya tha”; that’s all very nice and cute but in my junior year I heard about a course being offered called ‘Philosophy and Poetry of Iqbal’. This course was being taught by the only person I call my teacher, Sir Koshul. Since it required the consent of the instructor, the professor took my interview. I remember when he asked me why I wanted to take this course up, my reply was that one of the things my father used to talk about was my generation; that the most unfortunate aspect of our generation is that we haven’t studied Iqbal well and even if we have, we didn’t try to understand him. That really stuck with me. At that time I was trying to study Kant and Nietzsche on my own and, although it was fun, there was a thirst and a void inside me as if I was missing something. So, ultimately, I stumbled upon Iqbal and truth be told, that course changed my life. It was primarily the philosophy of Iqbal but the poetry of it cannot be separated as they complement each other.

Q: Why did Iqbal impact you so?

A: This course and Iqbal’s ‘Reconstruction of Religious Thought in Islam’, it struck me really deeply and my whole life was turned upside down.  Those questions that plagued my mind, Iqbal answered them.  Culturally specific and contextual, Iqbal is not just for Muslims only. He is beyond that; he is universal. Iqbal understood the fact that the need of the current day and age, and I hate using this word since it has an extensive debate behind it, is for us to reconcile things ‘rationally’. For instance, and I speak personally, growing up in a Sunni Muslim not-so-extremist family I would have questions about my religion and somewhat related aspects.  When I would look for the answers, religion would always say this is where you take a leap of faith.  Kind of like religious schooling in subtext. Whilst from my school to my university, the exact opposite coaching’s been done: to perceive everything rationally and build reasonable, sound arguments so it could all make sense. So you can imagine the conflict inside me and I notice this about a lot of people in my generation as well. The disparity has expanded so much that both of our domains do not even see eye to eye most of the time. It has thus created a perception-gap throughout because we have failed to understand the needs of our time. And Iqbal talks about this in the preface that the need of the time requires a method that is physiologically sound and mentally adequate or something along these lines. That is why Iqbal is so exceptional and made so much sense to me. Where religion told me to take a leap of faith and I couldn’t uncover any empirical or sort of logical reason for that, Iqbal resolved my conflict through his philosophy and I started seeing patterns in things as my observational sense got acute. I feel like he is truly misunderstood whenever I have this conversation, even with my friends. I apologize if this is getting lengthy (we didn’t mind at all), but Iqbal is a teacher of mine and I think everyone could learn from Iqbal regardless of what their personal inclinations are towards everything. Religion, faith, science, whatever belief you hold; I think if you respect the text and go to it as a student, you’ll take a lot from it in the end.

Q: How did these texts change your perception?

A: For that, I’ll talk about the point where I started to understand things or rather, I thought I started to understand things and that came from the fact that if I had a text in front of me, whether it be of Allama’s or any other’s, I had to treat it with respect. More than knowledge, it is the self-discipline that is necessary to understand something. My favourite movie of all time ‘Good Will Hunting’ has this powerful scene between Will and his therapist Sean where the therapist says: “You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?” So whatever surface idea you garner, that’s probably the worst interpretation you can attain from a text. The text Sir Koshal is teaching us, he is still working on it and even now he goes back to his very beginnings. And it’s only due to self-discipline that you start forming your own conclusions which are very sound, probably by not endorsing anyone else’s opinion. When we come to the Quran, the stipulation in which the country is right now is most likely because people have reduced the text. They have reduced God. Had they grappled with the text, had they had the self-discipline; this country wouldn’t be suffering from the current repercussions. Not saying that I have that sort of self-discipline and this is perhaps the reason I haven’t picked up Quran’s translation till now. The other end of the spectrum is that you start understanding it and you begin discovering things that are fascinatingly tangible for your inner world. Then yes, your life changes, your company changes, your friends change and your relationship with the world changes. It’s because your understanding of the world has changed and if it is worth something, you will definitely change.

Q: You talked about having some questions growing up. What were those?

A: There were a lot of questions that plagued me. I’ll talk about three of the most primary ones here. One of them was the biggest contradiction that I and most people find in religion: predestination and free will. If everything is pre-decided by God then where is this supposed free will? It bothered me a lot not being able to comprehend why I can’t understand my religious conviction. The second thing that troubled me was the nature of time. There are a lot of ways to understand time but how I perceived it was through observation. The earliest memory I have is of my mother picking me up as she prepared breakfast for me and my siblings when I was very little. Now, it’s the same mother and it’s the same Haider but when I am climbing stairs with my mum, she asks for my hand to help her ascend. This is how I understand time: seeing parents age, seeing myself grow and watching myself as I change. Thirdly, I started questioning death. I have seen death very closely and well everyone is subject to it; this developed a curiosity inside me to discern the nature of death in its truest form. So, these were the queries that I had growing up and the most intriguing thing is that many philosophers have presented these questions with answers of their own but none of them really stuck with me. That’s where Sir Basit Koshul came into the picture; he taught me about 150-200 pages of Iqbal thoroughly and that sort of lead to a mental progression for myself.

Q: The way you perceive different aspects of your life probably vary from that of your peers. Did you ever feel the need to make them understand your point of view?

A: The beauty of life is that every person lives his life in a unique way. Again Allama when he talks about human ego, call it a soul, a spirit or whatever, he says that every individual is a unique ego and everybody is looking at life with a different intellect. Doesn’t mean that somebody’s way of perceiving it is better than any other’s or only one way is the True way. These are just general rules for surviving on this Earth; a necessity if you may. It’s essential even to look at things in your own way and be respectful of how others are looking at them and then exchange ideas among yourselves. So when I am with my friends, this is the only sort of conversation that I have. Better to understand another than to gossip about someone else. Be respectful, be kind and you will start to realize that even though you might be looking at things through a different lens, you will be able to see the beauty in it. It’s really exciting if you and your friend perceive the same thing completely differently. And nothing is more beautiful than when this difference allows you to achieve the essence of that very thing.

Q: Did it change your perception of the institute that we study in?

A: I don’t want to scare you guys but I am sure that you all must have heard a lot when you first started studying here like there is freedom of inquiry, free objectivity and well the very best of education you could get in the entire country. After three and a half years, I would say it’s been probably the exact opposite. Because if LUMS is claiming this, then there sure are some conflicts within this claim. And for that, I will have to talk about rationality, something I am very cautious to talk about since we have understood it in a very restricted way. Weber gives four modes of rationality: theoretical (computative and analytical), formal (cause and benefits), practical (actions and reactions) and value (judgment mostly). What the university does and what science and each of its discipline do is endorse only formal rationality. This is the only form of rationality that they accentuate and consider to be ‘true’. According to them, the other three modes never existed. This approach is nothing but similar to a donkey whose eyes are blindfolded and is told to tread the path (this cracked me up since it was primarily apt).

Never reduce your texts, your approach or your vision.”

And make no mistake about it; religion does the exact same thing with value rationality. So you need to reconcile the conflicts within by broadening your spectrum as these assertions make you question your courses, your chosen discipline, your degree and even the very claims that lead you to spend giant amounts of money in these four years. It is my right as well as my duty to question what this has given me in the long run. The point is that there is always more to a picture than someone would tell you. The university is, in my opinion, swindling you. That is why you need to be critical in your approach and question things. But they never address these issues because if they did, they are most likely screwed.

Q: How can we overcome such dishonest ways in your opinion?

A: Primarily by starting talking about it as it can’t go on forever. This has to change. So, talk about it and hopefully, someone with courage will stand up against it. This is all about progression. You play your part and hope that the next person plays their part for there will always be a next person. There shouldn’t be any despondency regarding this. Just keep playing your part and imparting something from it onto someone else so they can make their own choice by looking at the evidence and thus furthering the process. The change is sure to transpire. One thing I would say is that there is too much deception in this world; a lot of mirrors around creating an illusion of reality. So travel, it cleanses your mind. Take some time to yourself; take a step back to sort of escape that tornado of life. Breathe. Think. Analyze what is happening around you and to you. This is very necessary and I am kind of becoming an extremist in this (chuckles). This is how I start and end my day and I wouldn’t want it any other way since it is innately very enjoyable. If it’s chaotic inside, it will be chaotic outside and if it’s peaceful inside then it will be peaceful outside. Write if you need to. Because writing has given me a channel to express my inner-self through words and resolve the inner workings of my mind which, to be honest, has been a lot of help in bettering my life.

Quoting one of his favourite verses of Iqbal;

نوا پیرا ہو اے بُلبل کہ ہو تیرے ترنّم سے
کبوتر کے تنِ نازک میں شاہیں کا جگر پیدا