“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge”- Stephen Hawking
There is something to be said about a person who draws knowledge from the world, the people and the events surrounding him, the good and the bad; and turning it into a symphony of words that speaks to the soul. Like a tree with its roots firmly in the ground with the world spinning quickly by, as years turning into aeons; people into a kaleidoscope of colours whirling into a spectacular illustration; time burdening it with its age-old secret and the dawning truth ageing it further every day.
There is nothing more radical than to learn, unlearn and relearn oneself from the knowledge that one is provided with and it was by chance that I stumbled upon somebody quite similar to that. From the batch of 2019, Mr Haider Ilahi tells us about what he learnt so far from his experience as a member of the LUMS community and how it shaped him as a person.
Sleepless due to reading Songs of Blood and Sword the whole night, downing a cup of coffee and making our way towards Khoka in the chilly November morning, I and my two friends went to meet Mr.Ilahi as he greeted us with a polite smile.
We started off by asking him about his routine.
Q: How do you usually spend your day?
A: Previously, I would sleep and wake up very late. I wanted to adjust my routine since it was messing my day up. Directing my biological clock to wake up at 6 am, I started rising to a clean, empty and quiet campus giving me a clear head to think. I have my breakfast and then do my readings outside with the music always playing in the background. Then my friends begin to wake up and I start wasting time (smiles!). By the end of the day, I go to bed early usually around 10 or 11 pm and even though it’s really hard, I still try to maintain this routine.
Q: What kind of literature do you like?
A: I used to read a lot of fiction but I am lucky in the respect that I really like the courses that I take. So, primarily, having just started my senior year, this is the first semester that I am really involved with my course packs. Usually, it would be me opening my books only during a mid or a final, but now it’s constant. So, whenever I am free and have to read something, I’ll do a reading of the course that legitimately interests me like philosophy or sociology. When I do have the time, I try to find novels and books suggested by friends. But I hardly have the time right now, so it seems to be just course packs.
Q: What about your childhood book-preferences?
A: It would be novels, crime stories, and detective stories. Even now, some of the favourite books that I go back to are fiction; which I used to read when I was really young. So, uh, it wouldn’t be surprising that I go back to those Famous Five books (we all laugh) that usually send me back to my childhood. But other than that, philosophy would be my preferred genre.
Q: What made you decide upon your current major?
A: I had an understanding that I would do Political Sciences but my father wanted me to have an open mind about choosing another major if it appealed to me. He personally wanted me to take Economics but, ultimately, he left the choice on me saying that I should analyze my penchant as well as my strengths and weaknesses. When I came as a freshman, I took a month or two to contemplate and then decided on doing Pol Sci and stuck with it. Despite that, even though I am a Pol major and its requirements aren’t very stringent, I promised myself that I’ll take up courses from other disciplines as well except for SDSB, which I had to take eventually as an out-group (the word ‘unfortunately’ was left unsaid). This really broadened my perspective as a whole.
Q: Apart from studying, what hobbies do you indulge in like sports etc?
A: I used to play a lot of football before I came to LUMS. For some personal reasons, I gave that up. It was hard because at that point football was the only thing I was really passionate about. So when I gave it up, I had to sort of find a replacement for it; something to keep me active in a way. Then by the end of my sophomore year and the beginning of my junior year, I found that spark in a specific branch of academics. Met with a couple of teachers who really inspired me to align my goals and ambitions. So if I had to choose now in retrospect, I’ll always choose this over football as it is something much more fulfilling and gratifying.
Since he mentioned music previously,
Q: What about your taste in music and did it develop over time?
A: Yeah, it did develop over time. If I had to go and pick one genre, it would be Blues. I have discovered some of the most incredible blues artists from the 60s and even early 30s. Other than that, since it’s in my blood probably, I have recently started to get really deep into Sufi qawwalis since almost all qawwalis do use spiritual and Sufi takes. As my Punjabi isn’t really good, I have sort of become a student of that. So, 50% it’s qawwali and 50% it’s blues.
Q: What are your thoughts on Iqbal since you mentioned that you respect his philosophy?
A: Well, I can’t talk about Iqbal without talking about society because even my own opinion is formed partly due to society. So when I was growing up, I understood Iqbal as how he was taught: “Qoumi Shayar hain” and “Unko Pakistan ka khwaab aya tha”; that’s all very nice and cute but in my junior year I heard about a course being offered called ‘Philosophy and Poetry of Iqbal’. This course was being taught by the only person I call my teacher, Sir Koshul. Since it required the consent of the instructor, the professor took my interview. I remember when he asked me why I wanted to take this course up, my reply was that one of the things my father used to talk about was my generation; that the most unfortunate aspect of our generation is that we haven’t studied Iqbal well and even if we have, we didn’t try to understand him. That really stuck with me. At that time I was trying to study Kant and Nietzsche on my own and, although it was fun, there was a thirst and a void inside me as if I was missing something. So, ultimately, I stumbled upon Iqbal and truth be told, that course changed my life. It was primarily the philosophy of Iqbal but the poetry of it cannot be separated as they complement each other.
Q: Why did Iqbal impact you so?
A: This course and Iqbal’s ‘Reconstruction of Religious Thought in Islam’, it struck me really deeply and my whole life was turned upside down. Those questions that plagued my mind, Iqbal answered them. Culturally specific and contextual, Iqbal is not just for Muslims only. He is beyond that; he is universal. Iqbal understood the fact that the need of the current day and age, and I hate using this word since it has an extensive debate behind it, is for us to reconcile things ‘rationally’. For instance, and I speak personally, growing up in a Sunni Muslim not-so-extremist family I would have questions about my religion and somewhat related aspects. When I would look for the answers, religion would always say this is where you take a leap of faith. Kind of like religious schooling in subtext. Whilst from my school to my university, the exact opposite coaching’s been done: to perceive everything rationally and build reasonable, sound arguments so it could all make sense. So you can imagine the conflict inside me and I notice this about a lot of people in my generation as well. The disparity has expanded so much that both of our domains do not even see eye to eye most of the time. It has thus created a perception-gap throughout because we have failed to understand the needs of our time. And Iqbal talks about this in the preface that the need of the time requires a method that is physiologically sound and mentally adequate or something along these lines. That is why Iqbal is so exceptional and made so much sense to me. Where religion told me to take a leap of faith and I couldn’t uncover any empirical or sort of logical reason for that, Iqbal resolved my conflict through his philosophy and I started seeing patterns in things as my observational sense got acute. I feel like he is truly misunderstood whenever I have this conversation, even with my friends. I apologize if this is getting lengthy (we didn’t mind at all), but Iqbal is a teacher of mine and I think everyone could learn from Iqbal regardless of what their personal inclinations are towards everything. Religion, faith, science, whatever belief you hold; I think if you respect the text and go to it as a student, you’ll take a lot from it in the end.
Q: How did these texts change your perception?
A: For that, I’ll talk about the point where I started to understand things or rather, I thought I started to understand things and that came from the fact that if I had a text in front of me, whether it be of Allama’s or any other’s, I had to treat it with respect. More than knowledge, it is the self-discipline that is necessary to understand something. My favourite movie of all time ‘Good Will Hunting’ has this powerful scene between Will and his therapist Sean where the therapist says: “You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?” So whatever surface idea you garner, that’s probably the worst interpretation you can attain from a text. The text Sir Koshal is teaching us, he is still working on it and even now he goes back to his very beginnings. And it’s only due to self-discipline that you start forming your own conclusions which are very sound, probably by not endorsing anyone else’s opinion. When we come to the Quran, the stipulation in which the country is right now is most likely because people have reduced the text. They have reduced God. Had they grappled with the text, had they had the self-discipline; this country wouldn’t be suffering from the current repercussions. Not saying that I have that sort of self-discipline and this is perhaps the reason I haven’t picked up Quran’s translation till now. The other end of the spectrum is that you start understanding it and you begin discovering things that are fascinatingly tangible for your inner world. Then yes, your life changes, your company changes, your friends change and your relationship with the world changes. It’s because your understanding of the world has changed and if it is worth something, you will definitely change.
Q: You talked about having some questions growing up. What were those?
A: There were a lot of questions that plagued me. I’ll talk about three of the most primary ones here. One of them was the biggest contradiction that I and most people find in religion: predestination and free will. If everything is pre-decided by God then where is this supposed free will? It bothered me a lot not being able to comprehend why I can’t understand my religious conviction. The second thing that troubled me was the nature of time. There are a lot of ways to understand time but how I perceived it was through observation. The earliest memory I have is of my mother picking me up as she prepared breakfast for me and my siblings when I was very little. Now, it’s the same mother and it’s the same Haider but when I am climbing stairs with my mum, she asks for my hand to help her ascend. This is how I understand time: seeing parents age, seeing myself grow and watching myself as I change. Thirdly, I started questioning death. I have seen death very closely and well everyone is subject to it; this developed a curiosity inside me to discern the nature of death in its truest form. So, these were the queries that I had growing up and the most intriguing thing is that many philosophers have presented these questions with answers of their own but none of them really stuck with me. That’s where Sir Basit Koshul came into the picture; he taught me about 150-200 pages of Iqbal thoroughly and that sort of lead to a mental progression for myself.
Q: The way you perceive different aspects of your life probably vary from that of your peers. Did you ever feel the need to make them understand your point of view?
A: The beauty of life is that every person lives his life in a unique way. Again Allama when he talks about human ego, call it a soul, a spirit or whatever, he says that every individual is a unique ego and everybody is looking at life with a different intellect. Doesn’t mean that somebody’s way of perceiving it is better than any other’s or only one way is the True way. These are just general rules for surviving on this Earth; a necessity if you may. It’s essential even to look at things in your own way and be respectful of how others are looking at them and then exchange ideas among yourselves. So when I am with my friends, this is the only sort of conversation that I have. Better to understand another than to gossip about someone else. Be respectful, be kind and you will start to realize that even though you might be looking at things through a different lens, you will be able to see the beauty in it. It’s really exciting if you and your friend perceive the same thing completely differently. And nothing is more beautiful than when this difference allows you to achieve the essence of that very thing.
Q: Did it change your perception of the institute that we study in?
A: I don’t want to scare you guys but I am sure that you all must have heard a lot when you first started studying here like there is freedom of inquiry, free objectivity and well the very best of education you could get in the entire country. After three and a half years, I would say it’s been probably the exact opposite. Because if LUMS is claiming this, then there sure are some conflicts within this claim. And for that, I will have to talk about rationality, something I am very cautious to talk about since we have understood it in a very restricted way. Weber gives four modes of rationality: theoretical (computative and analytical), formal (cause and benefits), practical (actions and reactions) and value (judgment mostly). What the university does and what science and each of its discipline do is endorse only formal rationality. This is the only form of rationality that they accentuate and consider to be ‘true’. According to them, the other three modes never existed. This approach is nothing but similar to a donkey whose eyes are blindfolded and is told to tread the path (this cracked me up since it was primarily apt).
“Never reduce your texts, your approach or your vision.”
And make no mistake about it; religion does the exact same thing with value rationality. So you need to reconcile the conflicts within by broadening your spectrum as these assertions make you question your courses, your chosen discipline, your degree and even the very claims that lead you to spend giant amounts of money in these four years. It is my right as well as my duty to question what this has given me in the long run. The point is that there is always more to a picture than someone would tell you. The university is, in my opinion, swindling you. That is why you need to be critical in your approach and question things. But they never address these issues because if they did, they are most likely screwed.
Q: How can we overcome such dishonest ways in your opinion?
A: Primarily by starting talking about it as it can’t go on forever. This has to change. So, talk about it and hopefully, someone with courage will stand up against it. This is all about progression. You play your part and hope that the next person plays their part for there will always be a next person. There shouldn’t be any despondency regarding this. Just keep playing your part and imparting something from it onto someone else so they can make their own choice by looking at the evidence and thus furthering the process. The change is sure to transpire. One thing I would say is that there is too much deception in this world; a lot of mirrors around creating an illusion of reality. So travel, it cleanses your mind. Take some time to yourself; take a step back to sort of escape that tornado of life. Breathe. Think. Analyze what is happening around you and to you. This is very necessary and I am kind of becoming an extremist in this (chuckles). This is how I start and end my day and I wouldn’t want it any other way since it is innately very enjoyable. If it’s chaotic inside, it will be chaotic outside and if it’s peaceful inside then it will be peaceful outside. Write if you need to. Because writing has given me a channel to express my inner-self through words and resolve the inner workings of my mind which, to be honest, has been a lot of help in bettering my life.
Quoting one of his favourite verses of Iqbal;
نوا پیرا ہو اے بُلبل کہ ہو تیرے ترنّم سے
کبوتر کے تنِ نازک میں شاہیں کا جگر پیدا